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Writer's pictureJacqueline Stilling

Are You Working Out? How to Strengthen our Emotional Muscles through Parts Work



It's challenging to ignore the constant messages about exercise and dieting we get through social media. But have you considered tending to your emotional health as well as your physical muscles? How do you ensure your emotional muscles are strengthened?

My inner workout journey began with meditation, mainly through Buddhism, and has evolved into a combination of that practice and Parts Work.

Let me tell you story about how I connected with Little Jackie in a Parts Work session that strengthened my emotional muscles enough to do things I never thought possible:


If I had a dollar for every time someone told me, "You should write a book!" I would have at least a thousand dollars. This suggestion has followed me through most of my adult life. The sole item on my bucket list is to write a book. In a world of self-publishing and me at the keyboard, why haven't I pursued this dream?

An intriguing question! One of my preferred methods for exploring my inner thoughts is by stating, "If it doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t make sense!" It doesn't make sense for me not to write a book when it's the only item on my bucket list and I haven't done it.

About four years ago, as I prepared to launch The Both/And Way Retreat and Coaching business, I grappled with my feelings of inadequacy. I reached out to a practitioner friend to delve deeper into this issue through a parts work session. During my parts work meditation, I connected with my eight-year-old self. I vividly pictured her in our Baltimore city Northwood row home, feeling a strong connection to her.

She was deeply saddened. When I engaged with her and inquired about her sadness, she showed me stories displayed around the living room. She explained that she had written these stories, but no one had shown interest or taken the time to read them. She felt rejected, sad, and insignificant. She undeniably felt "not good enough!"

Upon returning to the outside world and discussing this with the practitioner, I began to comprehend the part of me that often hesitates to move forward due to the overpowering "Not Good Enough Part." It protects me from experiencing the intense emotions that the eight-year-old felt when she believed she wasn't good enough.

A realization struck me. I realized that my reluctance to write a book stemmed from Little Jackie's fear that if no one read it, she would feel unimportant, unseen, forgotten, and worthless. However, through parts work, we can assure these inner parts that we are now adults with more coping mechanisms to handle disappointment. Those emotions don't have to devastate us. So, I've made a decision to write a book! It won't happen overnight. Step by step I continue writing essays and cultivating a plan for the book. These essays, shared in my blog posts, will eventually transform into a book. Over the years, I have written numerous essays, and now with the new found freedom gained form that Parts Work session, I can see these essays forming into the book I've always wanted to write, but like Little Jackie, it was trapped from coming of age. Now, I am free from my protective system, which shielded Little Jackie from vulnerability and intense emotions. These blog posts you (hopefully) are reading, will one day form a cohesive book!

This is the power of parts work. It grants these inner child parts the freedom to thrive in the adult world and within the adult body you inhabit.


Here is the thing, we can't do this on a whim or even in one session. It takes practice in the same way working out your physical body takes practice. Want to practice? Get in touch! Not only do I have weekend retreat and daylong retreats, but there is an online class coming up soon that will introduce you to a lot of your parts! What do you have to lose! Let's WORK OUT!!


Thanks for reading,

Little Jackie

and

Jacqui

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Guest
Sep 06

Love this! Hi, little Jacqui 💕

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